That graphic should really read:
Aww shit hello spring I didn’t see you there
I feel like I was just bunkering down for the winter
I only bought a thick cardi last week!
Granted it was at an end of winter sale
If I provide you with the appropriate points can you please postpone Spring until further notice?
At least until I finish season Two of House Of Cards?
Is there a thanks but no thanks opt out option?
Okay I get it its not tapas!
I am not ready to change the menu from my slow cooked comfort foods to the pre summer guilt crap that you serve up!
And I am certainly not looking forward to dealing with and attending to the scaly white hairy monsters that have been hiding underneath my thick black tights for months
And could you please tone down that bright beam coming from the sky its creating too much glare on my TV screen!
And don’t even get me started on that scary buzzing sound that seems to follow me around whenever I step outside
What is it?!!?
a bee, a wasp, a HORNET!?
Look I get it winter has crap things to like the flu but you are unforgiving with:
*needs to be said in a low voice like a disney villian plotting their next poison filled scheme
At least with the flu Winter gives you soup and sympathy,
And Spring I think your heart is in the right place
Flowers EVERYWHERE you go is not making anyone feel any better!
Fine go ahead with it then!
But If you need me I will be at home with the air con blasting shades drawn and a casserole slow cooking as I see what Kevin Spacey is about to do next on House of Cards.
PS If your reading this Lana Del Rey give me a call I think I have a great Idea for a Summertime Sadness remix!