FAKE KEN AND BARBIE
Valeria Lukyanova AKA Barbie girl and Justin Jedlica AKA Ken had us getting to like page 6 on google images, looking for signs of human life.
There were so many questions to research:
Are they together in real life? What did they do to themselves to look this way and more importantly why?
When I found out they hated each other I naturally was one step away from printing tee shirts and picking a side
Ken even through shade at Barbie saying their was nothing special about her and tried to prove a point by dressing up as her:
To this day everytime I hear an Aqua song I cant help but google what they are up to.
Considering I have always strongly ticked team dog in the polls I did try to boycott this campaign at first but much like LOL cats credit where credit is due, it was only a matter of time until people got sick of this trend and having to make excuses for their arms being scratched up so then I really hit google image gold when dog beards became a thing.
Lets just say my obession with this trend went as far as this:
yes thats a pig.
GOOGLING YOUR DEMISE
What starts off as a simple chest cold quickly escalates to 6 symptoms and 4 links in on Medical MD.
Next minute you are calling up your life insurance and telling your doctor to confirm what you already know to be true.
Do you sleep on your left side?
Do you like cheese?
Do you sometimes get an itchy nose?
yes yes yes!
And lets be honest the answer is never get off the internet you will be fine its always much more sinister.
If someone hasnt superimposed your face on a dancing dinosaur in a nightclub then consider yourself unloved.
There was a while there where it was near impossible to mark an occassion without one of these videos
You had a baby? Oh awesome here is a short film of your face on a rollerskater in flares dancing to mark the occasion.
Lets be honest what started as a curious click turned into 5 hour bender which seen you and your bestie placed in every funny situation you could be.
This all come to a hault when they did the unthinkable.
Asked for money.
Those were the days when you used to text your friend off your 3310 and ask them to come on chat.
The days you used to nudge not poke.
The days when it was all about ASL not LOL
And if you really like someone on chat you looked them up on BEBO.
Why is this on the list of weird places? cause if we were being honest it was the original chat roulette there was always that one random person from russia you met in a chat room adding you and asking you weird questions.
The more you watch the funnier it gets, the only sad part about this internet obsession is the friendship you lost when they said they didnt get it.
Every now and then when you are alone and the office girls who are clean eating have gone to get a green smoothie
You indulge yourself by day dreaming about what you are do this weekend and by do I mean eat
You even have a secret food porn folder on your work computer and if we are being honest on a back up USB somewhere
As much as you daydream in reality you always end up just cutting out the middle man and eating the Nutella straight from the jar alone.
Thank god for the internet otherwise how else would I know what really happened to 9/11, MH370 and that Jay Z is apart of the illuminati oh and did you heard about Nicolas Cage being a Vampire?
And dont get me started on black eyed people!
I still wont answer the door at night