TIMES YOU HAVE BEEN LEO NOT WINNING AN OSCAR

 Because Leo your not the only one who has experienced true failure.

THAT TIME YOU WHEN YOU WENT TO REACH FOR YOUR BAG FRIES AND THERE WERE NONE

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THAT TIME YOU WERE SITTING IN A DARK THEATER AFTER SEEING ZOOLANDER 2

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THAT TIME YOU TIRED TO DO AN ONLINE MAKE UP TUTORIAL BEFORE MEETING YOUR TINDER DATE

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THAT TIME YOU ACCIDENTALLY TEXTED GUY TO WIN AUSTRALIAN IDOL AND INSTANTLY REALISED YOU MADE A MISTAKE BUT IT WAS TOO LATE AND YOU ARE CONVINCED YOUR ONE VOTE PLAYED APART IN THE BIGGEST AUSTRALIAN INJUSTICES EVER COMMITTED.

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THAT TIME YOU  TRUSTED YOUR MUM TO BRING YOU BACK A SHIRT FROM THAILAND AND YOU ACTUALLY FOR A SECOND LIKE AN IDIOT LOOKED FORWARD TO WHAT SHE GOT YOU ONLY TO BE PRESENTED WITH THIS:

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THAT TIME  YOU ASKED FOR VEGEMITE ON TOAST AT GRANDMAS AND SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD TAKE YOU FOR A FOOL AND YOU WERE NOT PREPARED TO GET INTO IT WITH HER OVER JUST HOW OUT OF LINE SHE WAS SO YOU SUCKED IT UP AND HAD TO EAT THIS CHEAP POISON

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THAT TIME THEY CUT YOU A “6 INCH” SUB AND PICKED THE SMALLER SIDE

THAT TIME THAT  YOUR SO CALLED “FRIEND” TELLS YOU YOUR QUEEN OPRAH IS KIND OF EGOTISTICAL AND BASICALLY RUINS YOUR IDOL FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY KINDA HAVE A POINT

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THAT TIME YOU LEFT THE HOUSE AFTER SPENDING TWO HOURS HOLDING DOWN FAKE EYELASHES SO THEY WILL STAY AND YOU SNEEZED AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE

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THAT TIME YOU PUT IN THE PERFORMANCE OF YOUR LIFE IN TITANIC AND STILL DIDN’T WIN THE OSCAR SO YOU UP’ED THE ANTE AND SURVIVED SUB ZERO TEMPERATURES, SLEPT IN AN ANIMAL CARCASS AND DEVELOPED HYPOTHERMIA AND STILL DIDN’T WIN THE BLOODY THING AND NOW YOU REALISE  WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO FOR NEXT YEAR

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