At the moment I find myself declining invitations and am much happier for it, up until now I have been a social yes girl.
It could be a result of the fact that I have moved several times for work over the last couple of years and have been desperate to create a social life wherever I am or it could also be the fact that I have major FOMO.
Social media has made saying no to things that much harder you may say no to that halloween party mid afternoon when you are still dealing with last nights hangover but as soon as the selfies start flooding your newsfeed you hit pause on Netflix and start deliberating how late is fashionably late and will bedsheets cut it as a costume.
In the past I have prided myself on always being up for a drink or a catch up whenever I was asked or invited anywhere. I was so happy to have an invitation that I said yes as quick as they asked.
Like I mentioned before I have moved several times which means that awkward first couple of months where you are so desperate for a readymade friendship circle that you will go anywhere with anyone to find it, even if that means an exhausting mid week Tupperware presentation at a middle aged colleagues house.
I don’t regret this attitude in fact I attribute it to finding some of my closest friends to date but as someone who has just moved to a new town again I have decided to cut myself a break.
This time around I decided to do things back the front by learning how to make a schedule that suits me and doing things with myself and my boyfriend and only going to things Im totally up for.
In saying that I have still managed to meet a great bunch of girls who I have clicked with and then came a constant stream of invites in the past I would have exhausted myself and put my relationship second to say yes to everything but this time around I flow in and out their social occasions and they seem to be totally fine with that.
I have decided to take stock and control of my time and let me dictate how I spend it. I no longer will be guilted into going to something if I don’t want to spend the money or am exhausted after work, I will say no and if you have my best interests at heart you will understand that.
After about the second or third thanks but no thanks I stopped feeling guilty and started feeling empowered.
I have also learnt a lot about being alone and enjoying my own company I have bought a hammock and have decided that some of the best hangs are with a great book a glass of wine and no-one around.